wonderland | wanderlust

alice. south african but has spent the past several years between cape town, paris, florence, and new york. 21 years old. likes musical instruments made of wood, a single ginger cat, rooibos tea, scones, and figs. francophile interested in poetry, literature, food, photography, theatre, film, music, and people who make/do all those things. sometimes likes to run in fields and forests. currently figuring out how art can make an impact in the world. lover of sundays and breakfast. despiser of the sensation of cotton balls pulling apart. hoarder of note due to overdramatic tendencies and an extreme fear of forgetting. still learning.
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thesufjanstevensmodel5000:

"People depend on your reliability?" Say something that goes somewhere. Do something that does something. Love someone that loves you back. It’s a beautiful world!

thesufjanstevensmodel5000:

"People depend on your reliability?" Say something that goes somewhere. Do something that does something. Love someone that loves you back. It’s a beautiful world!

Bring me your pain, love. Spread
it out like fine rugs, silk sashes,
warm eggs, cinnamon
and cloves in burlap sacks. Show me

the detail, the intricate embroidery
on the collar, tiny shell buttons,
the hem stitched the way you were taught,
pricking just a thread, almost invisible.

Unclasp it like jewels, the gold
still hot from your body. Empty
your basket of figs. Spill your wine.

That hard nugget of pain, I would suck it,
cradling it on my tongue like the slick
seed of a pomegranate. I would lift it

tenderly, as a great animal might
carry a small one in the private
cave of the mouth.

Ellen Bass,Basket of Figs” (via iameatingpoetry)

things I highly recommend doing! (just not all in one day and on five hours of sleep):

-running a half marathon
-attending three classes (though I don’t recommend they all be one on top of the other with 10-15 minute dashes in between, as these ones were)
-helping your friend make a short film

this world has too many good people in it to waste your time on people who can’t give you theirs. friendship comes in many forms, but it also hides behind many facades, and there are motives, motives, motives lying everywhere, haphazardly, indistinguishable until they’re not. and when they’re not - ah! it’s so simple to give myself the advice I should have been giving myself for the past 21 years, really, especially when the advice sounds so simple in words: don’t give your time to people who don’t give you theirs. I grapple with this all the time, because I admire so many people, but I admire them for reasons external to our personal relationship and the realities of how they invest in that. stay alert to those who genuinely care about you, because they deserve your time far, far more. appreciate those people. at times when they seem the most rare, they are also the most precious.

hifructosemag:

Based in Rotterdam, Netherlands, Anouk Griffioen creates haunting, mural-scale charcoal drawings that offer glimpses into lush, overgrown places where humanity and nature seamlessly connect. The human subjects of her work are merely guides for viewers to immerse themselves in the sublime landscapes. It’s as if Griffioen is inviting her viewers to imagine themselves as her often faceless characters. There is a fashion-conscious aspect to her work as well: the svelte, model-like bodies strike casual yet glamorous poses, wearing smartly tailored outfits that camouflage with their surroundings. Read more in Hi-Fructose

this is the marathon contract my friend jaime had me sign.
one of my favourite lines (there are many) is, “I will stay strong while asking for money.”
there were two obstacles - not one - that came with registering for this marathon. the first would be training to do the actual race. the second - convincing people to help me raise an enormous amount of money designated to one specific cause, when that same amount of money could go to so many different places, so this whole effort is difficult to justify. but taking on two challenges means getting two rewards. the first - accomplishment. the second - a restored faith in humanity. because I have been surprised by how many people have been so willing to support, many of whom are my friends, but also others who are friends of my parents that I’ve never even met, or my friends’ parents, or friends I haven’t spoken to in years. seeing these people bubble up to the surface of my life is a beautiful reminder that there are good people out there, and I have a new level of gratitude to those who have surprised me in their kindness, warmth, and genuine encouragement. I think we all need a dose of this kind of goodness every now and again

this is the marathon contract my friend jaime had me sign.

one of my favourite lines (there are many) is, “I will stay strong while asking for money.”

there were two obstacles - not one - that came with registering for this marathon. the first would be training to do the actual race. the second - convincing people to help me raise an enormous amount of money designated to one specific cause, when that same amount of money could go to so many different places, so this whole effort is difficult to justify. but taking on two challenges means getting two rewards. the first - accomplishment. the second - a restored faith in humanity. because I have been surprised by how many people have been so willing to support, many of whom are my friends, but also others who are friends of my parents that I’ve never even met, or my friends’ parents, or friends I haven’t spoken to in years. seeing these people bubble up to the surface of my life is a beautiful reminder that there are good people out there, and I have a new level of gratitude to those who have surprised me in their kindness, warmth, and genuine encouragement. I think we all need a dose of this kind of goodness every now and again

“to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”

"The Thing Is," Ellen Bass (via commovente)

just ate spinach empanadas at the house of my professor whose last class compared foucault’s power dynamics to the screwdriver episode of orange is the new black. also got coffee with my best friend at a coffee shop we are making it our goal to frequent. glad summer came back this weekend to remind us how we wish it could last longer, sun rays burning into red bricks decorated with green climbing vines, and windows better when wider and opening onto west village streets

excdus:

It Is In Your Self-Interest To Find A Way To Be Very Tender
Jenny Holzer

excdus:

It Is In Your Self-Interest To Find A Way To Be Very Tender

Jenny Holzer

life updates in list form (this blog is becoming as unmaintained as a wild garden, but I’m trying to sustain it with occasional, pointless writing)

  1. this thursday, it will have been one month since I last ate meat. and I haven’t told my parents I’m vegetarian. and I probably will wait for them to figure it out, much like when my sister got her belly button pierced on a trip to australia, and my dad only figured it out when she came downstairs in a crop top
  2. five weeks to go until I run a marathon (!!!), and I don’t know what I’m doing.
  3. for three weeks now, my roommate and I have been moving into the apartment. we got an armchair today, and yes - we have taken things off the side of the road (the east village is a very generous place, I am finding). also, ikea furniture is likely the most frustrating thing I have ever had to deal with (only a slight exaggeration), and now I get why people have assembling parties with wine………because you need wine to cope
  4. you also, apparently, need screwdrivers. newsflash! wasn’t prepared for that in any way, whatsoever
  5. the italian is as rusty as ever, but my french is making its way back into my consciousness, many thanks to medieval literature
  6. on fridays, I have a four hour cinema class, aka I get to watch movies for class once a week
  7. I am terrified at how quickly a month has passed, accentuating the fact that this is my last year of college. and life after college doesn’t seem real - it was never a time I thought about, and I still can’t really wrap my head around that concept. but as much as I am desperately clinging to whatever threads are remaining and attaching me to my fleeting youth, I am happy to say that I have fallen back in love with life on the cusp of miracles in this city again